sigh... so sorry to hear about the eHarmony buy out.

Another resource i follow, as it does speak to queer weddings and alternative, low cost, creative ideas is Off Beat Bride (see http://offbeatbride.com/2008/09/transgender-groom). And another sigh... there is a stark lack of racial diversity on the site.

good luck with your wedding!

There are plenty of sites that you can use to get excited about your wedding that aren't associated with such F***ed up ideologies. Try indiebride - I liked that one. Or just keep looking.

I think that this is life. As our society becomes more interconnected and as the economy fails we find ourselves having to set aside principals that we thought were ingrained and unwavering. Example, when you swore you would never shop at Walmart because they don't pay their workers enough for the long hard hours they work and that they drive people away from the small business owners in a town and effectively kill it, but you don't have a job and the student loan people come back every month along with the landlord, you find your self wondering if maybe you could buy some basic personal things there but shop for your food at the Whole Foods (just to balance the scales).
However, I do think that in your case the website made an financial choice (I assume that eHarmony paid WeddingBee a ton of money to get their site) and a choice they knew might affect their subscribers. I wont tell you what to do, but if you love the site and can learn to live with the fact that eHarmony is running it, than stay. But if you know that you can find another wedding blog site and still maintain your principals, than change or get the LGTB community to start its own blog site for Activist Brides like yourself.
Hope the wedding planing itself is going well. Miss much, love more. Lisa

Thanks for this thoughtful post, ActivistBride. You really sum up so much of what I've been thinking about since I first heard about the sale weeks ago. Honestly, out of principal I should not continue to blog for such a site. Heck, even one year ago I would have left immediately upon hearing the news and had my content pulled. I think that for me, in this this election year especially, I am staying for now because it is so necessary for as many people as possible to be informed about the issues pertinent to our (POC/ QPOC/ LGBTQ) communities. Is it selling out on my part? Probably. But for all the talk of people standing up to their principles and leaving, I have to ask- where were they before? Being an ally to the LGBTQ community is much more than silently nodding when Gingerbread and I (the token queer bloggers) writes about these issues. I felt that I couldn't leave knowing these issues would never be addressed with one month to go (bah, don't get me started on my beef with electoral politics, but whatever.) My point is, do what you gotta do to stay sane. For now, staying is what I gotta do.

Thanks for the well wishes and wedding blog referrals! There is actually another blog that I like called Style Me Pretty, which I haven't been on much, since the day that I discovered Weddingbee. And, if all else fails, I guess there is always theknot.com! My major issue with Weddingbee, and corporations in general, is that most of them could care less about being socially conscious. I know it's idealistic of me to think that corporations will do right by society. I'm sure eHarmony paid Weddingbee a whole lot of money, which (especially during this economic crisis) really comes in handy. I just wish Weddingbee were more picky about who they sold the blog too. I really hate having to put aside my principles just to enjoy the things that make me smile. The less activist-minded people don't think twice about things like this.

Hi Miss Sweet Tea!

I sent my last comment before seeing your comment (there is a delay in posting the comments). I'm happy to see that you read RaceWire.

I totally feel you. People w/social justice principles should stay on Weddingbee and have their "non-traditional" perspectives heard/read/seen. I think that by you and Mrs. Gingerbread staying on, you are educating a whole lot of ignorant people. And maybe one day (I pray - soon!), the world will be more open to all of our issues. Heck, I'm still waiting for an Afro-Diasporic blogger to join the Hive. I know there was 1 but she was verrrrry light-skinned and she didn't really write much from a POC perspective. So, there is a lot of progress to be made on Weddingbee.

Good luck and best wishes on your upcoming December wedding!

Samantha,

After posting my comment I went over to OffBeat Bride and dropped the writer a note to mention the lack of diversity on the site. I received an immediate response and there is a new post today inviting a dialog in response to my note. http://offbeatbride.com/2008/10/offbeat-bride-diversity

Best, j

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